Tourniquet
by tongarisangel
Summary: songfic! Sins have become to heavy for Nicholas D. Wolfwood to ever atone for. Will he be forgiven and taken into Heaven or will he be banished to the pits of Hell for all eternity? R&R! [COMPLETE]! ("Tourniquet" by Evanesence)


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Wolfwood, Trigun, or this "Tourniquet" by Evanesence.  
  
**A/N**: Another songfic, this time it's about Wolfwood. Takes place at the end of episode 23, so there are some SPOILERS! Enjoy...and please review.  
  
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Tourniquet  
  
_I tried to kill the pain  
  
But only brought more_  
  
Wolfwood opened the doors of the large church and walked in, blood dripping from his mangled body. His cross had become so heavy, nearly crushing his limp body under its weight.  
  
"I hope you don't mind me barging in like this."  
  
_I lay dying  
  
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal  
  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
_  
He walked to the altar and fell upon his knees, seeking support from his cross, thinking of his life and how he had justified everything. He knew that he was a sinner, despite his profession as a priest, and he desperately sought forgiveness from the One whom he had devoted his life to.  
  
"My sins are too heavy. Too heavy. Too heavy to ever atone for."  
  
_My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation.  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation.  
_  
He fumbled in his pocket for one of his crooked cigarettes and put it to his lips, lighting up and inhaling the sweet taste of tobacco and nicotine, immediately dropping it as he remembered...her.  
  
'You know cigarettes are bad for the baby darling,' she had said.  
  
'I'm sorry honey,' said Wolfwood.  
  
How he had longed to have a life with her, Vash, Meryl, and another someone in Eden, his Eden, where there would be no killing and everyone would be living peaceful days. Reincarnation was probably out of the question with the Boss Man up there, seeing as Wolfwood had strayed so far away from him.  
  
_Do you remember me?  
  
Lost for so long  
  
Will you be on the other side?  
  
Or will you forget me?  
_  
Wolfwood closed his eyes to block the pain he was feeling at that moment and thought of the parable of the lost sheep and how the shepherd found him and brought him back after he had strayed from him. Would God forgive him for everything that he had done in his life? Or would he send him to the pits of Hell for all eternity?  
  
_I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming  
  
Am I too lost to be saved?  
  
Am I too lost?  
_  
How lost was he actually? Was he too lost to the point where the shepherd would give up and walk back to his flock and leave him to fend for himself out in the wild?  
  
_My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
  
My God, my tourniquet  
  
Return to me salvation  
_  
"I have so much left to do here. I don't want to die!"  
  
Wolfwood clutched his side as more blooded poured from the wound. His time was running out and he knew it. He then thought back on his life and everything he had done; killing his guardian, picking up a gun and training with Chapel the Evergreen, killing countless people by the reason of protecting the children, was everything he had a done a mistake?  
  
"Was everything I did in my life a mistake? Would I be wrong now to ask your forgiveness? I did not want to die this way!"  
  
Wolfwood took one last breath and closed his eyes, thinking once more about Millie, praying one last time for forgiveness, and allowing his hand to fall freely to the ground, allowing the merciful Lord to take him into his arms and forgive him or banish him to the pits of Hell.  
  
_My wounds cry for the grave  
  
My soul cries for deliverance  
  
Will I be denied Christ?  
  
Tourniquet  
  
My suicide  
_  
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**A/N:** Well, what did you think of that? Please review and tell me if I did a good job or not on this. Until next time...LOVE AND PEACE! 


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